Photo credit: Wynter Scarpa Photography
I've been thinking about something lately, and I believe it's a conversation worth having.
When did the wedding officiant become an afterthought?
Is it generational? Is it societal? Or have we become so focused on creating the perfect wedding that we've unintentionally shifted our attention away from the very reason we're gathering in the first place?
Think about it.
Couples spend months, sometimes years, planning their wedding day. They research venues, interview photographers, sample catering menus, select flowers, and carefully choose the DJ who will keep their guests dancing all night.
And rightfully so! Every one of those professionals brings something special to a wedding celebration.
But somewhere along the way, the person who will stand beside you, tell your love story, guide you through your vows, and pronounce you married can become one of the very last professionals you think about booking.
And I can't help but wonder... why?
But My Friend or Family Member Can Marry Us!
Absolutely! And sometimes that's a beautiful choice.
There's something incredibly meaningful about having someone who has known you for years stand beside you as you exchange your vows. I understand the sentiment, and I respect it.
But let me ask you something.
Would you automatically ask that same family member to DJ your reception? Prepare dinner for 150 guests? Photograph your entire wedding day?
Maybe! If those happen to be their talents, wonderful!
But more often than not, we hire professionals because we recognize the value of their experience, preparation, and creativity.
We trust photographers to capture moments we'll never get back. We trust DJs to read the room and create an unforgettable celebration. We trust caterers to prepare and serve a wonderful meal. So why do we sometimes hesitate to place that same trust in a professional who creates and delivers one of the most meaningful moments of the entire day?
Knowing a couple's love story and knowing how to bring that story to life are two very different things, and while a friend or family member can certainly create a beautiful ceremony, there's something to be said for the experience, creativity, and confidence that a professional officiant brings to the moment.
It's not about replacing sentiment.
It's about recognizing the value of the craft.
I Don't Just Show Up and Pronounce You Married!
I sometimes wonder what people think happens when they hire a professional wedding officiant. Do they imagine we arrive, open a binder, read a few words, ask for the rings, pronounce the couple married, sign the marriage license, and head home?
Because I can assure you, that's not how I approach my work!
For every personalized ceremony I create, I invest hours getting to know my couple.
I want to know how they met. What makes them laugh. What they admire about each other. The little quirks that make their relationship special. The moments that shaped their journey together.
And then comes the writing.
Finding the perfect words. Balancing heartfelt emotion with just the right amount of humor. Creating meaningful transitions. Incorporating personal vows, special readings, remembrance moments, or unique unity rituals.
Sometimes I rewrite a paragraph several times because I know there's a better way to tell that part of their story.
And that's all before the wedding day even arrives.
Then comes the delivery.
Knowing when to pause. When to smile. When to let the laughter happen. When to allow an emotional moment to simply breathe.
Knowing how to connect with an audience while making sure the couple standing in front of me feels like they're the only two people in the room.
Being a calming presence when nerves take over and knowing how to navigate those unexpected little moments that inevitably happen.
And here's something I believe wholeheartedly: Creativity is a gift. Storytelling is an art. And creating a meaningful wedding ceremony requires both.
Because anyone can read the words.
But making people feel them? That's where the magic happens.
It's More Than the Minutes at the Altar.
Here's another misconception I'd love to address.
Sometimes the value of an officiant is measured by how long the ceremony lasts.
"It's only a 20-minute ceremony."
Yes, it might be.
But those 20 minutes can represent hours of conversations, preparation, writing, revisions, and thoughtful planning.
Think about your favorite song. It might last only four minutes, but that doesn't mean it took four minutes to create.
The same principle applies to a beautifully crafted wedding ceremony.
You're not simply paying for the time someone stands in front of you.
You're investing in the talent, preparation, experience, and creativity that make those minutes meaningful.
And let's not forget the legal responsibilities.
Marriage license requirements, accurate documentation, signatures, and filing procedures all deserve careful attention. The specific rules vary by jurisdiction, and ensuring the process is handled correctly is another important part of an officiant's role.
Because a wedding ceremony should be both beautifully meaningful and properly handled.
Have We Become More Focused on the Wedding Than the Marriage?
I don't know exactly when our priorities began to shift, or whether they truly have.
Perhaps social media has influenced what we consider important.
We see the breathtaking venues, elaborate floral displays, champagne towers, gorgeous wedding gowns, choreographed dances, and picture-perfect receptions.
And believe me, I love all those things, too!
But I sometimes wonder whether we've become so intentional about how our weddings will look that we've forgotten to be equally intentional about how our ceremonies will feel.
Because long after the flowers have faded, the cake has been eaten, and the last song has played, there are moments from your ceremony that may stay with you forever.
The moment you hear your love story spoken aloud.
The laughter when a familiar memory is shared.
The emotion in your partner's voice.
The promises you make while holding each other's hands.
The words that remind everyone in attendance exactly why they're gathered together.
Those moments deserve intention.
And the person entrusted with creating and guiding them deserves thoughtful consideration.
Let's Talk About Value, Not Just Cost.
I understand that weddings come with budgets. Every couple has priorities, and every dollar matters.
But I also believe there's an important difference between the cost of something and the value it brings.
When you hire a professional officiant who creates personalized ceremonies, you're investing in more than someone who is legally authorized to marry you.
You're investing in someone who takes the time to understand your relationship.
Someone who can turn your memories into a meaningful story.
Someone who knows how to create a balance of laughter, emotion, and sincerity.
Someone who understands that this isn't simply another wedding on the calendar.
And it deserves to be treated that way.
I don't expect every couple to choose a professional officiant.
But I do hope every couple understands what a professional officiant can bring to their wedding before deciding that the role is simply another box to check.
Your Officiant Deserves a Place on Your Priority List
If there's one thing I hope couples take away from this conversation, it's this:
Don't wait until every other detail is planned to think about who will marry you.
Take the time to find someone who understands your personalities, shares your enthusiasm, and respects what this moment means to you.
Someone you trust.
Someone who makes you feel comfortable.
Someone who gets excited about your love story and wants to tell it beautifully.
And when your ceremony is over, take a moment to thank the person who officiated it. Maybe even grab a photograph together before everyone heads off to celebrate!
Whether that person is a cherished family member, a lifelong friend, or a professional officiant, they've shared an important moment in your lives.
And that's worth remembering.
Moore Love Always,
Kelly
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Every love story deserves to be told with care. Whether you’re planning a wedding, vow renewal, or something uniquely your own, I’m here to help bring your vision to life. Reach out to begin.