Love Notes: Finding Our Rhythm (Vol. 14)

I've discovered that every lasting marriage has its own rhythm. The secret isn't dancing perfectly... it's continuing to choose each other every time the music changes.

If you've been following along on social media, you've probably smiled—or maybe even laughed as you've watched Brian and me navigate our dance lessons these past few weeks.

We've shared the funny moments, the missed steps, and the little victories that probably seem so small to everyone else but feel huge to us. Preparing for our dance at our daughter's wedding this November has become so much more than learning choreography. It's become a lesson in marriage—and honestly, a lesson about me.

When we walked into that dance studio, I thought I was there to learn the steps. Instead, I found myself learning one of the most important lessons of all: to trust.

If you know me, you know I'm independent. I like a plan. I like knowing what's coming next. So standing on a dance floor, where my job is to trust Brian's lead, didn't come naturally. More than once, I tried to anticipate the next move. I'd step too soon or try to help. And every single time, we lost our rhythm.

Our instructor would gently smile and say, "Kelly... trust the lead." At first, I thought he was talking about dancing. Then I realized he was teaching me something much deeper.

Trusting Brian's lead doesn't make me less strong. It doesn't take away my voice or my independence. It simply means I believe in him. I trust that he knows where we're going, and I trust that if we miss a step, he'll still be there reaching for my hand. I've discovered that following isn't about losing myself. 

It's about trusting the one I've chosen.

That lesson stayed with me long after the music stopped. Over nearly thirty years of marriage, there have been seasons when Brian carried more than I did and seasons when I stepped forward to carry more. We've leaned on each other's strengths, adjusted when life changed the music, and somehow found our rhythm again. That's what partnership looks like.

And isn't that also true in marriage?

Sometimes we're so busy managing schedules, responsibilities, and everything life throws at us that we stop looking at the person standing right in front of us. We become focused on getting through the day instead of truly seeing one another.

As Brian and I continue practicing for our dance this November, I know our family and friends will see the finished performance. 

They'll hear the music and see the smiles. What they won't see are the missed steps, the laughter, the moments of frustration, and the quiet moments when we simply looked into each other's eyes, took a deep breath, and chose to trust one another enough to begin again.

Maybe that's the secret to a lasting marriage.

Not finding someone who never misses a step but rather, finding someone who's willing to keep learning the dance with you.

So today, I'd like to leave you with a simple invitation.

Put your phone away.

Turn toward the person you love.

Look into their eyes.

Really look.

Hold their hand.

Put on your favorite song and dance in your kitchen. (We dance nightly in our kitchen!)

Don't worry about getting the steps right. Just enjoy being together.

Because every relationship has its own rhythm. The music will change. You'll occasionally step on each other's toes. Life won't always be perfectly choreographed.

But if you keep looking at each other, keep trusting each other, and keep choosing each other... you'll always find your rhythm.

Moore Love Always, 

Kelly

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